An Open Letter to the Most Important Women in our Lives

To Our Dearest Mothers,

A friend once said that it’s funny we celebrate ourselves on the day we’re born – our birthdays, a day where we literally did nothing. That in fact, birthdays should be celebrations not of our coming into the world, but instead for our mothers who did all the hard work.

As a man, one who would never go through the same kind of labor of love, I can only imagine what it must be like. To carry life inside you for nine months, to bring them into the world, and to prepare for a lifetime of responsibility. Of changing your habits and trying to become healthier. All the check ups, supplements, morning sickness, etc. The symptoms of being pregnant read like it’s the worst thing in the world. The mood swings, food aversions and cravings, headaches, nausea and vomiting, cramps, fatigue, bloating, the list is endless. For some, it’s not even a one-time thing. They intentionally go through it, again and again – and for what?

Many argue that childbirth is a magical thing. But that sentiment never goes without acknowledging the blood, sweat, and tears that mothers subject themselves to. It is humbling, really, imagining myself being brought into the world. That my mother endured hours of labor, just to give me a chance to live.

Ma, I would like you to know that I appreciate the sacrifices you had to make. I’m looking forward to the day where I have to make sure that I am there for the would-be mothers in my life. I want to make sure that the mothers in my life can count on me, because motherhood isn’t easy. The moment of birth is just the beginning of a life-long journey of more sacrifices and possible heartaches for a mother.

Ang ilaw ng tahanan

I’m grateful that I live in a country that values the sacrifices of mothers. The newly passed Extended Maternity Leave Law tugged on my heartstrings. Those 15 weeks of paid time off will probably be filled with sleepless nights. Our mothers deserve every day of it and more. And I’m happy that my sister, if she decides to be a mother herself, would benefit from the same law.

Don’t get me wrong – motherhood should not be the be-all and end-all of a woman’s existence. Your validation shouldn’t depend on whether you choose to be a mother or not. But I applaud mothers, as they prove to accomplish both roles in the household and as part of this country’s workforce.

I’m a firm believer of the Filipino concept of the mother as “ilaw ng tahanan” – the light of the home. It is such a powerful metaphor specially in the context of humble Filipino life. Without light, the home would be dark, and despite the father (or haligi ng tahanan – the pillar of the home) being present and stable, the mother is the light that brings clarity. It’s a testament to the Filipina’s role in our society – men are seen as strong and dependable, but we are blind and lost without the light.

This is for my mother, my mother’s mother, my sisters, and my friends. Thank you. We are who we are because of all of you.

With love and admiration,

Your son, grandson, brother, friend, and more.

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This post was submitted by Miko, an avid reader of Flying Ketchup.