Kalalaki Mong Tao: Tackling Toxic Masculinity In The Philippines
Many Filipino men grow up hearing things like, “Don’t cry,” or “Kalalaki mong tao! Be strong.” From a young age, they’re taught to hide their emotions and never show weakness. And overall, these harmful ideas make up what’s called “toxic masculinity,” which makes it hard for men to speak up when they’re struggling.
What We Always Hear
“Kalalaki mong tao! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
“Reklamo ka ng reklamo! Be a man!”
“A real man doesn’t show weakness.”
These lines are common in Filipino homes, schools, and even online. Boys are raised to be tough, quiet, and emotionless. It’s as if growing up, being a man means carrying pain without letting anyone know.
This is toxic masculinity in its base form. It’s not saying men are bad; it’s just that society teaches them to follow harmful rules about being “strong.” Such rules dictate men shouldn’t cry, always provide, show anger over sadness, and view asking for help as weak.
What Being a “Man” Really Is
However, perpetuating toxic masculinity hurts men more than we initially thought. In the Philippines, their suicide rates have increased to four times higher than for women. Many Filipino men experience depression and anxiety but are afraid or ashamed to ask for help.
Why? They fear being told that “He’s not a real man.”
READ: Why Filipinos Need a Mental Health Law
Honesty is Strength
It takes strength to speak up. More importantly, it’s not weak to be honest about your feelings.
Men show bravery when they open up, cry, or seek professional help. Because a “real man” doesn’t pretend. He knows when he needs support and has the courage to ask for it.
To protect our fathers, sons, brothers, and friends, we must rethink how we teach masculinity. Let’s raise boys who are free to express emotion and support men who choose to speak up.
You Are Not Alone
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please reach out to the National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) through the following numbers:
1553 (toll-free, landline and mobile) or 1800-1888-1553
0919-057-1553 (SMART/TNT)
0917-899-8727 or 0917-899-USAP (GLOBE/TM)
