Stop Putting the Burden of Rape Prevention on Women

“Samahan kita sa CR.” “Text ka when you get home.” Women look out for each other on a night out, while a guy friend says to “cover up.” One is care; the other makes a woman’s outfit the problem. So we raise an uncomfortable question: why does rape prevention so often focus on what women can do to avoid being violated, rather than what people and institutions must do to respect someone else’s consent?

The Toll of Being Told to “Stay Safe”

Women are told to avoid certain places, watch their drinks, and be careful around whom they trust. Yet when sexual violence happens, these same precautions are used against them: Why were they there? What did they drink? What was she wearing? 

As the Philippine Commission on Women (PCW) stressed back in 2018, this mindset shifts attention away from the person responsible. Safety advice still matters, but no outfit, drink, or decision to go out gives anyone permission to disregard consent. Women shouldn’t have to prove they took every precaution to deserve justice.

Start with the Boys

The resurfacing of the “Cornell 7” case in the United States has extended conversations about consent and accountability beyond its borders. But realistically, that conversation should start early. 

Many young boys grow up hearing “boys will be boys,” as if ignoring someone’s “no” is part of growing up. Teaching them that “no,” silence, or hesitation = stop isn’t about treating them as suspects. It’s about making them safer friends and partners.

Consent education can’t stop at slogans, either. It means not pressuring someone into sex, exploiting their vulnerability, or treating silence as agreement. Similarly, being in a relationship or accepting an invitation isn’t consent. Friends can call out degrading jokes, families can model respect for boundaries, and everyone can listen when someone shares their experience.

READ: DepEd to Teach Proper Condom Use Starting Grade 8

Rape Prevention is a Public Responsibility

The Safe Spaces Act already requires bars and restaurants to post warning signs and designate anti-sexual harassment officers and holds employers and school heads liable for ignoring reports. But laws mean little unless enforced: police must take reports seriously, and survivors need support, not shame.

The government must also back consent education. DepEd’s Reproductive Health Education policy, which replaced its sexuality education order last year, promises lessons on respect in relationships and gender-based violence.